Many caregivers have shared their situations with me. Think of this one in particular. The facility where your mom resides has contacted you. A meeting is requested. The director sits across the table from you to inform you that your mom is becoming unruly and somewhat violent. They go on to counsel you that a choice must be made. They must consider everone’s safety and state guidelines.
The choice they referred to is either removal from the facility or medication that will calm them and may slowly end their life. (they may not mention that but when you research the medication, you see the side effects and you know where this is leading)
Keep in mind your mom has no idea who you are and has not for a few years. Also know the situation will not improve. You are tired, worn, hopeless and financially drained, and nobody wants to help alleviate that.
You decide on the medication. Within a few days the change is drastic and you realize it is easier on you.
Then, for some reason, you feel you were wrong. You feel guilty. The more folks you bring into the mix, the harder it becomes, but you feel you may need ideas to ponder.
When all is said and done, this is a decision you should own.
These are my thoughts. Bear in mind I have not walked in these shoes.