Anyone can become a 24/7 caregiver. You may have to be willing to sacrifice. That is something we may all identify with. It takes time to find out what someone may need, what keeps them comfortable and how others may or may not be able to help. To some it may bring tough times and good times, the same as life right? Some caregivers may say they feel totally comfortable all the time. Others, when asked, are you okay, answer “yes, no, and maybe,” all that quickly and they mean it. (that’s probably where I will fit). Sometimes help that is offered may never really quite turn out. You may find that respite is not worth it, especially when you come back and look into the eyes of the one that wanted “you” near. You will meet many folks that have not walked in the shoes of a caregiver that have well intentioned advice. You may slowly see, besides the person you are giving care to, folks fade away from your existence. Promised visits just may never seem to materialize. Time is valuable and 24/7 caregivers give a lot of that. You may have folks that speak of their misfortunes for hours, days, weeks and even months, and you listen and then when you begin to speak of yours, they need to go. You may meet many that in public speak of caregiving in one way and then privately, totally different. For some reason unbeknownst to me, lots of caregivers tell me they do not get much response from the church. Time is valuable, we are human. Safety and dignity are paramount. Time is valuable and folks that give that, give a lot. Sitting around a table, or walking in the yard, empowering your loved one to continue takes time. Anger, fear, regret and happiness may all be part of the life of some caregivers. Some never do the 24/7 job. 24/7 caregiving for another human being just may really be the ultimate love. It’s not only words, it’s time.
Rambling Right? Yep it is and that’s okay.
What I typed doesn’t make sense to you? That’s okay, it doesn’t have to because you probably have your own feelings and they may not make sense to me. I hope you never stop expressing yours, because I will not stop expressing mine, because it helps.
Signed. Jack Fussell
You know what, I’m here with my mom since January 24th, 2016. Been here 91% of that “Time” She’s safe and has much dignity and has a son that empowers her to Keep Going. Am I lucky to be able to do this? I chose it and most folks can. You just have to be willing to sacrifice. I have been willing to because she is my mom. Although we have other family, mom and I are what’s left of “our” little family.
My favorite quote – “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.” Erma Bombeck
I never search for inner peace to be happy, I seek Inner Peace to rest for the next round of whatever is coming. I do not search for happiness. I am extremely Grateful to God for Life!