My situation – the guts of it

On January 24th, 2016, I became a caregiver for my then 87 year old mom. She needed one and my only sibling, a brother, passed away in 2005. The responsibility came to me. My sister in law and nephew have helped every time I have asked for assistance. I don’t ask for help any more than I do because they have their lives to live. When I leave mom in their hands, I know she’s safe. I’ve been here almost 91% of the time. Her husband passed away March 12th, 2016. Mom’s house, upon her passing will be here for me to live in until I die, and then ownership will go to my brothers son. Recently when I was advised to become her power of attorney, I found out she had already appointed one, a few years back, my sister in law. Mom was of sound mind and body when she appointed a power of attorney and when she had the attorney draw up the papers concerning the house. Both of those situations are of no concern to me. Being here is my responsibility, my choice, my decision and the help I receive, is much appreciated. I do not enjoy the task, but it is my task to do. I feel like mom has as good a life as is possible. This is not at all what I thought I would be doing at age 69. I live here rent free, pay no bills, other than what I purchase out of the ordinary, such as shoes, clothing etc . . . I leave her alone occasionally, during the day and it always works out, but if I am here, she exhibits the need for me regularly. This is the hardest job I have ever had, mentally, emotionally. It’s adversely affecting my health, but I am working hard to remain fit. Most days, I wake up hopeful, but not every day. Regardless of how I feel, the job is getting done. Mom is safe and enjoys much. I pray daily concerning this. I wish I had my life back, and I wish mom was healthier, both cognitively and physically, but that’s not the reality. This is tough stuff. I love mom very much and I love life.

It fills good to get these words in print.

7 responses to “My situation – the guts of it

  1. Bless you. Caring for someone can be very isolating and lonely. But sometimes it’s the only thing you can do and still like yourself as a person. I wish you and your mum love and peace and contentment.

    All the best.

    MTM

    Like

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