We had a long conversation today. Her social media posts hint of a strong lady that has most of her life under control.
She asked me to post this on my blog, but not reference her name or particulars.
She said she’s struggling with her own health issues and that of a loved one she has been caregiving for over seven years. She went on to say that she realizes she may have inadvertently created an image that is not quite real.
There may be a chance a lot of us may be doing something similar. I shared a few of my struggles with her. She said it felt good to speak of it. I think I did a good job of listening.
Maybe a lot of our family and friends are suffering that we don’t know about. I think life has many ups and downs.
When I decided to become a caregiver, many things changed for me. I was in my fourth year as a volunteer advocate concerning Alzheimer’s. In my opinion what I was doing was worthwhile, and also very exciting.
The change has been a constant struggle and I have lost my perspective many times along the way, but I do the work, even while struggling.
The work involves keeping myself as healthy as possible, keeping mom safe and using social media to do what I can to share information.
When I do lose perspective, sometimes it may take a day or two, I communicate with folks that help me. Doing so is very productive. I guess two heads may be better than one occasionally.
The actions are no different than before. My day starts early and keeping mom safe is top priority, with keeping my health, physical and mental intact, a close second.
Something has changed though. Something inside is different, a feeling. In the past, getting up excited was routine, but now, from time to time, that feeling is no longer there. Sometimes, it seems like what keeps me going is responsiblity not hope.
In 2013, while attempting to jog and walk across America, my route ended, about like the one in the picture below, from today, in Macon. Google maps told me that because of the construction, an extra six miles would be added to my days work.
The superintendent noticed me, chuckled and motioned for me to be careful, but proceed. I was and I did, and it was much appreciated.
I follow Peter Merante on Twitter. This morning I saw a tweet of his that referenced the article the link below will take you to. Here’s a few words from the article . . . “It seems counterproductive but lower intensity running allows you to remove lactic acid and waste out of your body. Running easy also allows for your body to begin muscle repair.”
In the past, when folks spoke of denial, I assumed they meant not accepting that the person they are giving care to, needs help. Recently I realized some of us have had a tough time accepting the life we now live.
I work hard to keep mom safe, stay fit and raise awareness and money for charity.
This is my life now, and I will persistently do the stuff required of me. This is my marathon!
Yesterday I noticed the bus coming up from behind me. She got even with me, stopped, rolled down her window and asked if mom and I were doing okay. We chatted a moment, and she headed off to take some folks somewhere.
In the past, many times, she blows the horn and waves. That’s encouraging stuff right there . . .
This quote helped create a foundation for everything in my life.
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’ ” Erma Bombeck
A Prayer for the Game of Life
“DEAR GOD, help me be a good sport in the game of life. I don’t ask for an easy place in the lineup. Put me anywhere you need me. I only ask that I can give you 100% of everything I have. If all the hard drives seem to come my way, I thank you for the compliment. Help me to remember that you never send a player more trouble then he can handle with your help…
And help me, Lord, to accept the bad breaks as part of the game. May I always play on the square no matter what others do…Help me study…THE BOOK so I’ll know the rules…
Finally, God, if the natural turn of events goes against me and I am benched for sickness or old age, help me accept that as a part of the game, too. Keep me from whimpering that I was framed or that I got a raw deal. And when I finish the final inning, I ask for no laurels; all I want is to believe in my heart, I played as well as I could and that I didn’t let you down.